"Help Me Make It Through The Day"!

Every day cannot be Sunday and everyday cannot be the Best day. Some days can be ‘bad’ and sometimes ‘the worst’. Its up to us how we handle it.



 Sometimes it happens that a day falls on your way where every things goes wrong, nothing works out well, people seem to so demanding demanding, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to make it better. You just feel like you want to burst, and just feel like you wanna say get lost and you wish to be left alone because you are frustrated, drained and lost. Now this at times has been my definition for a bad day. You might be having your own version. But at the end of the day a bad day always seem like the worse day. Here are few tips that I found that I know at times can be a challenge to apply but at least can be a guide to help us all handle those days when we wished we never got out of bed.  I think that these tips can help us all  to still find some peaceful sleep without having the hangover of an, as we often see on vending machines, "an out of order"  day”.
Step1. Don’t try to fix things when you are troubled because anxiety to clean up the messy situation can lead to more problems causing mental/physical injury.

Step 2. Don’t take yourself or others or the situation that prevailed on the bad day too seriously because sometimes things happen accidentally or inevitably causing confusion/pain/trauma. Remember one mantra, “this time too will pass”.
Step3. If it is the stress of the day’s work (load) that makes you feel that you had a bad day, then you are looking out for a wrong solution. Handling stress is easy. Take out some time for yourself to relax and rearrange your priorities. You will feel better about the day.
Step 4. Accept the fact that you are a human being and not God to control every situation that happens in and around you. Don’t beat up/ blame yourself for whatever has happened on a bad day. IT can only worsen the situation, Everything (good and bad) happens for a reason, Time will reveal why this bad day happened to you and till then stop brooding on loss and injuries that happened on a bad day. Plan for a productive tomorrow.
Step 5. Cheer yourself up and get over your bad mood. If you don’t know to handle yourself no one/nothing else can help your day. So engage yourself in something that would make you feel relaxed. For example, watch a movie on your laptop or spend some time with people you care about and who accept you for who you are without being critical or judgemental. Whatever you do, make sure that you are soothing yourself and is being relaxed as an outcome.

Remember that with every storm that comes, that storm will eventually come to an end and the sunshine will shine again. Keep looking up because that is where the rainbows are. I hope you have found this little blog helpful.

Accepting and Being Happy With Who You Are!

The concept of self-acceptance is pretty basic on the surface. It means recognizing that you're a highly complex individual who is OK just as you are. It requires you to embrace everything about yourself -- including those things that you perceive as your weaknesses or flaws. I feel that this is different from self-esteem, which is a measurement of how worthy we see ourselves or how we think we measure up to everyone else.
According to an article by psychologist Dr. Leon Seltzer, it is said "if deep within us we are ever to feel,  as our normal state of being, happy and fulfilled, we must first rise to the challenge of complete, unqualified self-acceptance". Dr. Seltzer calls it a challenge for a reason; and suggest that when a person struggles with accepting onesself,  that there may be combating of years of feeling guilty, judging and criticizing yourself. We often treat others better than we treat ourselves. One thing that can help in this self acceptance is instead of always emptying yourself on other people, try directing some of that compassion and caring toward yourself. Just because you might fail at something to try,  doesn't make you a failure as a person. You at least made the attempt and that is not failure. If you have honestly given your best at a task and if your best was not good enough at that time, accept that you're doing the best that you can and that you were beaten  at the top of your game. Don't beat yourself, always give your best at all you do.

I am sure that there are those who think that self-acceptance means ceasing to strive for personal growth, but I don't see these two concepts as being linked at all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to learn and become a better person, but accepting who you are is about living in the present, not your past or your future where none of us know what that future will have in store. One final thought about feeling good and accepting who you are is that setting and working toward some personal attainable goals can give you a sense of purpose, and reaching them will always help in the boosting of your own self-confidence. However, there is one major mistake that many people make and should be avoided at all times:  setting unrealistic goals that you can't possible reach. So, instead of feeling gratified and fulfilled, you can end up feeling worse about yourself than before with a possible mindset giving rise thinking, "Why did I even bother to try"! Set reachable short term goals and as you reach goal, you can't help felling better about yourself and you are on your way to better accepting and being happy with who you are.

Understanding the Silent Killer, "Stress" !

I think it is fair to say that all of us at one time or another engage the battle field aginst the silent serial killer, and robber of a happy life , known as STRESS!  Many people consider stress to be something that happens to them, as a result of an uncontrollable, unplanned, situation or an event such as an injury or a job promotion. Others think that stress is what happens to our body or our mind and or our behaviour in response to an event in our life such as heart pounding, anxiety, or nail biting . While stress does involve events and our response to them, these are not the most important factors. How we manage our thoughts about the situations in which we find ourselves is, I believe,  the true critical factor.
When something happens to us, we automatically evaluate the situation mentally. We decide if it is threatening to us, how that situation should be delt with and what skills could be used. If we decide that the demands of the situation outweigh the skills we have, then we label the situation as "stressful"  If we decide that our coping skills outweigh the demands of the situation we are facing, then we don't see it as "stressful."
Everyone sees a situation differently and we all have different coping skills. For this reason, no two people will respond exactly the same way to a given situation. Additionally, not all situations that are labeled "stressful" are always negative. The birth of a child, being promoted in your job or moving to a new home may not be perceived as threatening. However, we may feel that certain situations are "stressful" because we don't feel fully prepared to deal with them. It is true that some situations in life are stress-provoking, but it is our thoughts that determine whether they will become a problem to us.
How we perceive a stress-provoking event and how we react to it determines its impact on our health. We may be motivated and invigorated by the events in our lives, or we may see some of those events as "stressful" and respond in a manner that may have a negative effect on our physical, mental and social well-being. If we always respond in a negative way to the situations that we have to face,  our health and happiness may suffer. By understanding ourselves and our reactions to stress-provoking situations, we can learn to handle stress more effectively.
Please try to understand that you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of coping with your stress. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems that come along. The ultimate goal is for all of to have a balanced life, with time for work, building relationships, enjoying relaxation, and finding some special time for fun – plus the determination to hold up and choosing not to buckle under pressure and meet those challenges head on. You Can Do It!

Winning The Battle Against Lonliness!

Avoiding The Bursting Balloon!

I think that you would agree when it is said that when you have put your trust in someone and that trust has been broken, that it becomes very difficult to make yourself vunerable again to trust. Something happens inside us and in how we see those around us when we have had our trust broken that we feel almost a bit violated. We feel violated because we have allowed people to get inside us to know how we really feel about this or that.  This emotional sting is even intensified especially when those feelings have been shared in confidence. Keeping things deep inside without allowing them to be shared or talked about is one of the worst choices one can make. The reason is, that without really knowing what is happening, our bodies keep building up a continous increase of stress and pressure which for some results in a lot of emotional and physical aliments like, high blood pressure, sleepness nights,  a heart attack, stroke or possibly even death. It is hard to open up when you have been stung by a broken confidence, gossip or from various forms of rejection. To emphasize this point a bit farther, a Balloon can only handle so much air being forced inside it and if stretched beyond its limit, without warning , will bust with a mighty blast of release. We all need to have someone or a group in our life with whom we can truly trust and share those deep feelings that, if not released, could drive one over the edge. This is not an easy task as trust must truly be earned. In order to really be Trusting means you have to allow yourself to become vunerable again and yes it is risky because there is always that chance that another round of hurt could be lurking.  In the end, when you are open with God and tell him in conversation just how you really feel , You may find that God often  brings someone onto our path , who has a compassion for us and in whom we will truly connect and that bond is priceless. Trusting is risky business but necessary if we are to avoid the balloon experience of busting wide open after keeping so much inside. Just know, that God has said in the Bible, " Come to Me, all of you who labor and are weighted down and I will give you rest'! If you are willing to allow yourself to trust again, in the end you will not bust but find a realease that is refreshing like a warm ray of sunshine. and a peace that goes beyond our understanding!

From Catipillar To Butterfly- A Struggle For Life!

As the catipillar struggles to break free from its caccoon, it knows that the struggle is necessary to become strong enough to fly once freedom is achieved. This struggle is his own and to help it break free would mean that it would not have enough strength in its wings to fly which would lead to an inability to fly or survive. Sometimes it is necessary for each of us to go through a struggle or a series of events that become like refining fires which help mold and shape us into a better and even stronger person than before. Within these struggles we will often learn something new about ourselves, where our values lie or where we lean and draw our strength from. God, the One who gave us our existence, gives us our very breath and who knows our future allows us to go through many different kind of life challenges, but also realize that you can and will make it when you understand that He does not give you more than He knows that you can handle. By our creator , we are even known better than we know ourselves because He made us. So, when you feel life throwing in the towel because of all the events that are happening to you or around you that you can't seem to control, remember this Proverb from the Bible (Proverbs 3:5,6) that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, Lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths". Even if you are not a very religious person or even a Christian person, this Proverb will always stand the test of time. Try to understand , that breaking free from and surviving life's coccoons of struggles depends more on believing in a Who rather that a What and trusting Him to give us the strength to see us through the battle fields, so we like the new butterfly who grew strong to fly, will also be able to break free from those chains that want also to hold us captive, stronger than ever and more assured of who we are when we stand and look into the mirror. Struggles are a part of life, but with God, you have already won the war!

The Joy Of A Sunrise?

I remember growing up hearing my grandmother say after witnessing the beautiful red sky in the early morning " Red Sky at night Sailors delight, Red sky in the morning, Sailors take warning"! What she really was saying that to see a red sky in the early morning , though very beautiful, meant that there was a storm brewing and to watch the oncoming weather. I love the early morning and watching the sun giving rise only to to watch it push back the veil of darkness that covered the earth during the night hours. A sunrise means that another day has begun with all of its wonders and that the day that has now become yesterday is never to be lived through again! Sometimes we worry and want to try and predict what the next day will bring only to find with amazement that most of what we thought would be, never would become that living, dreaded reality. Life will always be filled with challenges both big and small and if we focus soley on the problem and issues at hand, it then becomes easier to miss the little joys and blessings that may also be there at that present moment. Sometimes, inorder to avoid falling prey to the life destroying , stress vice, we need to learn to just stop, take a deep breath and smell the flowers and too, really look to see the beauty of that morning sunrise. A sunrise is calming, quietly saying to the morning, time to wake, its a new day and regardless what the rest of the day may hold. That this day has begun peaceful and stress free! Remember if you can find that calm and stress free beginning to your day to listen to the morning sounds and sit in the midst of those soft colorful rays of sun rays, maybe with a coffee or tea, the rest of the day will seem to be just a bit more bearable.

A LESSON FROM THE TREES!

I think it is fair to say that in life we can often get blind sided in such a way that we feel that we might never climb back up the hill again to enjoy a properous day, week, month or even the year! No matter how prepared we might be to face our everyday challenges from within our jobs, social envolvements, through the sickness arena or even our personal or family relationships, we never seem to be prepared enough. many often feel as if the wind has been knocked out of their sails and that they just don't have any more of themselves to give to anyone or anything! Have you ever been overwhelmed with these kind feelings or is this exactly where you are now? I believe that nature has a lot of life lessons for us if we just stop to breath and take in what is around us and how they handle the storms that pass by. Take the trees for instance, The winds and rains and the various seasonal assults hammer them over and over that when the dust settles and the storm passes by, they are still for the most part still standing. Why? How can they survive when the storm seems so much bigger than they are? The answer to the question is really quite simple. They have learned to bend in the winds and with strong roots, though branches or pieces may end up being torn away, much still remains to face another day, another storm. If, when you have to face another heavy or unexpected storm, if you can learn to bend with it, and yes some times it can become very difficult, believe it or not you will make it through because you have not only held your ground on what you know and can control, but you have let blow by what you can't control. You are tougher than you think and if you are a religious person, know that God, by asking, will give you all you need to see the daylight and rainbows of promise again! Believe in yourself and Learn to Bend like the Trees and nothing will have the strength to overtake you!

Yesterday Is History, Today Is A Fresh Gift- The Present!

I think that it is fair to say that for most of our life, we find ourselves walking through many different types of stress pools that seem to cause our lives to be anything but cheerful. A lot of times, when this stress is left to continue to live and festure, mentally and physically we get worn down with nights filled with tears and sleeplessness. As a result, often some form of sickness finds ialso finds its way into our lives just to add one more challenge to cope with, making life a continual up hill drudgery. Not knowing where to turn or what to do, we try to make the best of the hand we have been delt and try to sort out from where or whom those stresses are coming. Life is meant to be enjoyed not feared and stress can be overcome.
We seldom can concretely identify those situations and people we find stressful. To understand what brings on stress in your life, try to maintain a heightened awareness of your physical and mental feelings as you move through your days. When you feel your heart racing, your muscles tightening, or your stomach turning into a not, ask yourself why. Keep a list of those things and or personalities that trigger thhose stressful feelings and work to move them aside. The medical community agrees that stress is one of the major silent killers today. When you lay aside and move beyond your stress causes, then your mind and body will jump for joy and you will begin to feel like singing again and those long nights will be filled again with restful sleeps. Isn't it time for all of us to start and enjoy life again? I know it is, because life is too short already and there are many special daily blessings to be enjoyed.

When Served A Flood Of Lemons, Make Lemonade!

I stumbled upon and read an interesting article(author: Annonomus) today entitled " Living beyond the past" and it suggested that there are those who love to cling onto many of the negative happenings in their past and thus become imprisoned and sadly very bitter. The article went on to say that if one allows bitterness to go unchecked, that it will reach out like a poison with the goal to destroy that which is good... and undeserving. The article concluded with this quote "Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the heart and mind is never new, never fresh, never truly loving." Sometimes the circumstances we have to face do weigh heavy on our hearts and minds giving birth to all kinds of emotions. Some of those feelings can, if not let go, can turn into rivers of frustration and anger wanting to lash out at those around us and sadly many innocent by standers are on the receiving end of that emotional blast. Remember, those bitter unchecked emotions have one primary goal and that is to lash out and bring hurt. We can't always control all the garbage that happens to come our way but one thing we can do, Control How We React To It! You can either let it win over you and take you down with it, or you can reclaim your ground and refuse to let it consume and beat you! The Best advice for all of us is, to always strive to be a person who strives to build one another up and encourage where possible and avoid bitterness at all cost in order not to be known as one who looks for an opportunity to tear another innocent person down. Remember, a champion is not known for how he/she is knocked down but rather how he/she gets up! Even a lemon can have a better purpose than always being bitter. Just make some fresh, sweet, lemonade!

It's Time To Go Shopping!

Every once and a while I have a chance to go over to a portion of the Saint John River, known as the Famous Reversing Falls Rapids. I love to go there because if you close your eyes and just listen to the various sounds that make up the surroundings, you will soon learn that the most powerful sound in the air is the clashing and tumbling of the waters below. As you watch you can notice the power that the rushing of waters have as to apposing currants clash causing a swamping of anything that might be floating by unaware. Sometimes one can feel as if you are being sucked in by the tides of life, tossed and battered wondering where your life will end up. It can be a helpless and frustrating feeling when you are being tossed about from every side by forces that not only do not know or understand who you are or the journey you have been on. Is this where you are today or maybe you know someone who is facing those same feelings of being overwhelmed from the negative stresses around them. One of the best ways to handle stress is to move yourself away from those stresses that are wanting to have first place in your thoughts and everyday coming and goings. One of the best stress relievers that one can do and enjoy is to head out and have a good shop in a near by mall where you can get lost in the crowd and allow your mind to focus for a time on something fresh and new. Just remember that those in the malls and those living their life around you are also living through their own stresses or maybe another storm for them is coming. You will never have a life where there won't be some kind of stress issue to deal with, however, stress does not ever have the right to hold its mastery over you. When you learn the art of looking beyond your storm, it makes the journey that much more barable and easier to rise above.